The Hoarders .....NEW!!

I'd seen this TV show called hoarders and it made me think of a customer I had. This customer had the 2nd nastiest house I'd ever seen in all my years in repo/collections business. The lady had been a customer of ours for about 9 months; she was renting a refrigerator and a stove. She stayed on the late list all the time so it’s fair to say I’d been by there a lot, so much so the neighbors knew me by name and they were always feeding me information on their daily actives. The reason the neighbors wanted to help us was simple, they hated them! This was a good neighborhood, houses had maintained yards and was more upper middle class, I guess is the only way I can describe it. The people (our customers) didn’t practice the neighborhoods habits of maintaining a pretty house and lawn to say the least. The customers had a yard from redneck hell. The first thing you would notice was the porch it was home to the old refrigerator and stove, it had bags of trash stacked all over it and every ugly wind chime ever made. The yard was even worse it had old bathtubs with plants in them and trash all over the yard, hamburger wrappers of all kinds about every kind of fast food crap you could think of. Who was to know this was the best part of their house. I pulled up to the house and before we got of the truck the neighbor to the right came running up to us and said ; they are in the house just pulled up and parked behind the house. I thanked the person for the information; she also said the landlord is evicting them in a few weeks. The lady told me they have beed served by the sheriff already because the landlord told her and asked her to watch the house. I thanked her again. I knew what I had to do, I wouldn’t be able to allow them to give me a promise to pay day it would be a Money or Merchandise approach to this customer. You see when you have word that a customer is moving out you must return the merchandise to avoid them skipping out on you with the items. I knew as Bill and I approached the house this wasn’t going to be good, if the outside was this bad I could only fathom what the inside was going to be like. I got to the door and knocked I had bill look at the windows, these people were known peepers and when they peek and you see them what you have to do is start waving at them ”Let people know you see them with this most people will come to the door”. I started knocking in fast mode so after about 5 minutes of annoying knocking the lady came to the door. The customer came to the door pissed, she wasn’t happy with my knocking. When she opened the said why are you knocking on my door so hard, I told her after the first 5 minutes I assumed she was in a part of the house that she was having trouble hearing. I said I’m here about the past due payments on your rentals. She said I will be in by the end of the week to get the accounts up to date, I explained that I would need to bring the accounts current while I was here; she told me she didn’t have the money till the weekend. I said I’m sorry but unless it’s brought current now the merchandise would have to be return while I was here. We went around like this for ten minutes “Like it always does” finally she said Get you’re Shit and get out of my house! The lady said we are moving anyway and don’t need your crap! I turned to bill and said go get the hand trucks. I went into the house and “OH MY GOD the smell hit me like a ton of bricks. I had only gone in a few feet at this point. I entered the house and as I did noticed that you had to turn sideways to move down the hallway, so I knew the hand trucks weren’t coming down this hallway. I continued to go down the hallway hoping that it was going to get better but it wasn’t, there was junk all in the hallway piled up newspapers and boxes of crap. I looked down the hallway I could see that it went to the kiction and there was doorways to the right and left as you go down the hallway, as we were walking down I looked to my left which I guess was the living room and in this room it was full of garbage bags and clothes and the source of the smell besides the trash, in this room I couldn’t count the number of cats they were everywhere and some nasty looking things. These things had shit everywhere in this room, I saw a sofa that had cat crap all over it. I continued heading toward the kitchen as I did I kept looking into the rooms and all were as bad. The bedrooms had all kind of crap piled onto the beds and junk all over the floors and every room had cats all in them, I kept thinking “How many of these things does she have?” I kept heading toward the kitchen hoping it didn’t get any worse but as I did the air was getting thicker if you can imagine this I could almost see the funk in the air. I was praying the back door wasn’t blocked or had a small door frame because I knew there was no way in hell the refrigerator and stove was coming up this packed hallway. I entered the kitchen and saw the reason for the stronger smell, in the kitchen is where all the over flowing cat boxes were kept and god it was bad. I don’t have a bad gag reflex but this shit almost had me gagging. I looked around and saw cats all over everything, they were on the counters the stove “EVERYWHERE” and I looked at the cat boxes it looked like this lady was saving the crap there was 3 to 4 layers of shit in these boxes! I was trying to look for the back door but the ammonia smell was burning my eyes, I finally saw the back door I thought I would scream it had boxes of junk and newspapers alo garbage bags piled up in front of it. I turned around to see if I could move this crap out of the way, the counters had cats and junk on them with thousands of roaches everywhere. The sink had dishes all piled up in it and by the looks of them told me it had been a very long time since they had seen soap. I knew what we had to do if we wanted to get the items out of the house. I looked at the refrigerator and stove they looked 20yrs old but I know these were new when they got them delivered 9 months ago. I at this point just wanted to get the merchandise and us out of this pig pen as fast as was possible. I went back down the hallway and found bill standing on the porch with the hand trucks he said dude I knew the trucks weren’t going down that hallway so I was waiting on you. You see I know bill and you will see his name in some of my stories, he is a very cool guy but he has some repossession issues, not with the soft hearted thing, with him it’s a weakness to nasty things. Bill has puked at many pickups and sometimes I must get items out of the house before he can help me with them because he can’t go into the house without throwing up. I told bill you have to man up on this because I need your help with these items and to free the back door. Bill asked me what was worse the nasty garbage or the smell, I didn’t lie to him I said the smell it’s almost unbearable. The guy looked scared! And it was funny as hell! I started down the hallway with bill in tow but as we were going down it I heard bill saying “Oh God” over and over. We got almost to the doorway of the kitchen and I heard bill say I’m getting to feel a little sick, I said shut up and suck it up. We got into the kitchen bill said hell no! Look at this! Can you smell this? Bill said we are going to need help with this. I told him listen we have to do this because I’m not staying in this house a minute longer than I have to so get to moving the crap from the doorway. We had to make a path to the back door and that was a nasty job, the roaches weren’t happy about the move and were running all over the place and with every bag or box we moved the smell would just get worse, bill was complain with every box he moved. I went out down the hallway till I found the customer and I asked her if she was going to remove the stuff from the refrigerator. The lady told me “want the damn thing you clean it out. I told her that wouldn’t be a problem. I went back to the kitchen and found a bucket in all the trash and opened the refrigerator and started tossing crap into it the bucket got full so I found a box and kept tossing crap then I tossed all the crap out of the freezer part until that nasty thing was empty only thing still in the refrig was roaches, oh yea they were so nasty they had roaches in the refrigerator turned to bill and seen he hadn’t got too far, the fool was moving trash with 2 fingers and stomping roaches , I said danm bill just move the crap don’t count the crap! I started kicking the crap out of the way, all we needed was a path to the door so bill got into it and in a few minutes we had a path to the door. The refrigerator was a mess it had cat hair and roaches all over it, we have to get all the crap off top of it also if not when you pull it over on the hand trucks it all falls in your face and I didn’t want anything in this hell hole on my face. We had taken paper and stuff off the floor and got it ready to move then I turned to the stove and man it was a mess it had grease filled pans burnt pots with all kind of different roaches in it. I took a broom and wiped them off the top, on this stove was an army of roaches and they were looking at me like they were ready for battle! I told them to step away from the stove or die! A few moved a bit but for the most part they stood their ground. I had no choice I took a bunch of rolled up newspapers and it was roach genocide the roach parts were all over the stove. Bill and I brushed away the roach parts and looked in the oven and god there was something in there that I swear changed colors 3 times while I was looking at it, and it had a platoon of guard roaches in it also. I looked around for something to get this crap out of the oven and I looked at the broom handle and thought what the hell so I took the broom handle and stuck it into the crap, and when I did it was like a loom of gases went up and I heard bill gagging so I turned to him and screamed WHAT! He said you don’t smell that? I said the whole damn place smells how in the hell can I smell this shit. I thought I hope this place hasn’t killed my since of smell because it didn’t smell as bad as before. I took the broom handle and stuck it into the pan and slung it across the room! Problem solved. This done the stove was ready to move. I turned to bill and said you know we will have to Carrie these outside by hand. Bill looked like I told him his mother was dead. I told bill it will be okay just find some old rags in the truck and put them on your hands. I went to the back door and I seen the back door had all kind of crap behind it, so we had to move all this nasty junk out just to get the door open. I told bill to pull the truck around as he went to do this I started trying to get the crusty back door open. I got the thing open but god it was hard, it had roaches and was like it was painted shut but I was able to snatch it open. I looked out the door and bill had backed up to the door and he got out and saw he had a clean white shirt in his hands, I asked where did you get that shirt? He said it was his undershirt , I asked why he took off his undershirt he told me I’m not touching that refrigerator or stove with a dirty ass rag. I told bill just get in here I’m ready to get this crap done. You see by this point I was wishing I’d just let the woman take the crap and skip off. I carried the hand trucks into the kitchen and we went to the refrigerator first. I took the hand trucks and put them on the thing and I tried to pull it back and I guess there was so much grease on it I couldn’t grab it, my hands just kept slipping so I told bill to push it over. He told me I’m not touching that nasty thing. I lost it and yelled push this nasty damn thing over before I kick your butt. He was pissed but did what I told him too. We got the thing to the door but it wouldn’t go out, door frame to small so we had to walk it out. The nasty thing was out and we got it to the truck and I got up into the truck and told bill I would pull it up while he picked up from the bottom and push. Bill said are you crazy! I’m not touching that thing on the bottom, I was getting pissed, I jumped down and said get up there and pull the damn thing up after that we got it on the truck and when we set it down roaches started running everywhere I told bill just forget it let’s get the stove. We went back in and got the stove out with far less trouble but man it was greasy. When I went back in while bill was strapping the crap down, the lady came up to me and said you will pick all my food up! I told her NO I said I gave you a chance but you told me to do it and this is how I DO IT if you want it up you will have to be the one to do it. I did tell her if you’re going to pick it up I would soon or those roaches are going to get into it soon. I was walking out the door she yelled and you’re going to pay for that damage to my back door. I said Oh yea ”sue me” by this point I could care less and I went out and closed the back door the best I could. When we left I told bill we had to go by a car wash and spray these nasty things off before we could bring them into the store. I found a car wash near the store and bill and I moved the items to end of the box truck. Bill yelled I got the stove I said whatever sissy. I was spraying out the refrigerator and having fun killing all the roaches inside and outside of it and I was just getting done when bill said hey I hear something in this stove. I got done and the wash ended, so bill and I were looking at the stove when I heard something that sounded like something scratching on the side of the stove. I looked at bill he was nervous, I opened the top of the stove and found nothing so I opened the oven and didn’t see anything but roaches. I told bill I don’t see anything, about that time a rat ran out from the open lid on the stove and bill screamed like a woman! And I almost wet my pants it was so damn funny! The thing was running all in the back of the truck but it kept coming after bill, I said I think it likes you! Finally I was able to run it off the truck. We were finally done with this horrible repo and I will tell you it was the 2^nd nastiest repo I’d ever done if you can believe that, the worst is another story I have called “The Nasty People” read it on the site. I will give this to this one it was the smelliest repo I’d ever done.